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TRP: Hansel, Mishka, and Roddy (Catsel)
COYOTE AT 4:44 PM Late evening on Day 272. Gavi wanted to go to Little Creek, apparently. She left her new army in the hands of Ruth and Raziel, the two tall and somewhat intimidating orc generals. God. Gavi had an army now. He really fucking hoped that wasn't going to become a problem. By the time he got back, he couldn't find anyone anywhere. Corellon. He checked the rooms they'd bought-- he found Roddy and Joan, and Raef and Azrael, but no one else. Maybe Goro and Larkin were off somewhere together. No Hansel, though. Weird. "Hansel!" Mishka called. He checked the nearest pub, then checked the alley outside it. No half-orcs. Hm. IZZY AT 4:45 PM A creaky meow came from behind a few stacked crates. COYOTE AT 4:51 PM Something shifted in the crates, and there was a low hiss. Mishka frowned as he pried the crate away. Her highness, the Tyrant-Queen Rexaria, had cornered a large and stocky cat. "Hey!" Mishka snatched the dragon up. He smacked her on the rump. She sulked in his arms, then tried to snuggle closer to him as if seeking reassurance he wasn't angry at her. "No, fuck you," Mishka told the dragon. "Of course I'm angry at you. What the hell are you doing? Go find my husband." He tossed her into the air. The cat was shuddering violently. Mishka knelt down. He made sure to stay a respectful distance away. "Hello, handsome man," he murmured. "Are you alright, little sweet thing? Poor baby. I'm sorry. Are you okay?" The cat, being a cat, did not answer. IZZY AT 4:54 PM The cat's eyes were wide. It peered up at the sky, after the dragon, and crept a tiny bit closer to Mishka. COYOTE AT 4:58 PM Mishka clapped his hands at the dragon, which was still hovering. "Hey," he snapped. "We're going to have a fucking talk later, your highness. Scat." He pointed to the alley entrance. The dragon landed. She sulked away, crawling on her belly and casting pitiful looks back at Mishka. Then he realized, alarmed, he was probably scaring the cat. He crouched down again. "No, no," he whispered. "Not you, sweetheart. You're good. Such a good kitty." The cat was a muscular creature, strong and well-fed for a stray, but its fur was criss-crossed by various little scars. "Poor thing. How about this. You stay right here, and I'll go get you a little fish from the pub, eh? You can stay in your little hidey-hole. I'll come back." IZZY AT 5:06 PM It gave a pitiful, raspy meow and ducked out of its hiding spot to come right up to Mishka, staying low and hiding against him, instead. COYOTE AT 5:10 PM Well. Mishka supposed he had a cat now. Pumpkin and the Tyrant-Queen Rexaria probably wouldn't like this, but they had a big castle. It could fit another cat. Mishka stroked the cat a bit. Very thick fur. No collar. Very thick neck, though. "What are you, some kind've half-orc cat? Haha, that's a joke. I'm funny. Cats can't have orc blood." He gently tried to pick the cat up to see if it'd let him. He bet Hansel would like this cat. IZZY AT 5:12 PM It did, digging its claws into him and ducking its face to hide against his chest, ears back. Its heart pounded frantically. COYOTE AT 5:22 PM Mishka's heart melted, a little. Or it would, if he had one. He checked surreptitiously around the alley, decided there was no one else around, and figured, eh, there was no one around to witness his expressing genuine affection towards a cat. Safe. It began to sprinkle a cool rain, and Mishka tucked the cat inside his jacket, resting it against his chest. The cat's ears were back, which usually meant... fear, or danger. But it cuddled up against him like it was afraid of everything else except him. "Are you hungry, sweetheart? Hm? How are you so big?" The cat looked like a Northern Coon, one of those giant forest cats, though it had shorter hair than usual. "Does someone own you, handsome?" IZZY AT 5:24 PM The cat rumbled a little and dug its claws into him more. COYOTE AT 5:26 PM "Yes. That's right," Mishka said. "Me. I own you. Precious. Smart kitty. So good." He began to walk down the alley towards the pub. Even if Hansel wasn't inside the pub right now, he would be eventually, and in the meantime, Mishka could buy the cat a late of fish. Mishka kept scratching the cat as he walk. He gently rubbed its chin and neck, pressing harder when it leaned into his hand. Precious cat. "Hey, I don't suppose you've seen my husband, eh?" IZZY AT 5:34 PM It let out a long, low, whining meow and pushed at him until its face was in his, and stared at him. COYOTE AT 5:44 PM Aw. Poor thing. Why was it upset? Mishka heaved it over his shoulder, then checked around. No dragon. That wasn't it. "Shh," Mishka said. "I've got you. I'll go set you on a nice comfy bed and close the door. Then you can hide, yes? Cats like that. Mm, I wonder if Goro likes cats. You'll have to stay in our room until we get back to the castle..." He kept musing aloud as he walked. IZZY AT 5:54 PM The cat made a dissatisfied growly sound, but it accepted its fate. It settled in on Mishka's shoulder. Then, abruptly, it wasn't a cat anymore, because it was Hansel slung over Mishka's shoulder, and given that that was about four hundred extra pounds of half-orc and armor and tridents, they both collapsed into the street. Hansel scrambled to not squish Mishka under him, and crush Mishka to his chest instead. "Oh my god," he said, still mildly panicked. "Oh my fucking god, oh god, fuck." COYOTE AT 5:58 PM Mishka wheezed for breath as Hansel scrambled off him, then dragged him up and crushed him against his chest. He weakly clung to Hansel. Who the fuck dropped his husband on him from out of the sky? "Hans," Mishka croaked. "The cat. Don't squash the cat. Where's the cat? Kitty, kitty." IZZY AT 5:59 PM Hansel pulled away to hold Mishka's face, shaking him slightly. "Mishka. I'm the cat. I'm the fucking cat. I turned into a cat." COYOTE AT 6:03 PM "Oh my god." Mishka clung his hands. "Oh my god. Hans-- who-- how--" Then it clicked. "Oh my god," Mishka said. "Did you turn you into a cat?" IZZY AT 6:04 PM "That's what I said!" He jostled Mishka again. "I turned into a fucking cat! I got all fuckin' -- freaked out, and I turned into a goddamn cat! The fuck!" COYOTE AT 6:00 PM “Who gave you magic?” Mishka said. He still couldn’t figure that part out. Then he caught the words I got all fuckin’ freaked out and remembered how the cat clung to him. How it hid against his legs like was Mishka its safe spot. Mishka peered suspiciously around them, listening for any enemies, resting his hand on his rapier automatically. Whatever had fucked Hansel up might still be here. IZZY AT 8:10 PM "Fuckin' -- iuno, fuckin' Selune or whatever --." It was the best explanation they had, and fucked if it made any actual sense to him, magic coming from a god but not being clerical, or whatever. He waved a hand and grabbed Mishka again, squeezing him. "Fuckin' druid shit," he mumbled. Fuckin' going off without him meaning for it to. At least no one'd seen this time. COYOTE AT 10:29 PM Mishka clung to him and dug his fingers in. “Who hurt you? Who scared you?” IZZY AT 11:10 PM Ah, well -- fuck. Was fucking embarrassing. He couldn't very well say an old lady. Just kinda grumbled wordlessly for a moment. With the tendency Mishka had for wanting to kill his enemies, he probably oughta be ... fucking diplomatic, and shit. "M'fine," he muttered. "S'okay." COYOTE AT 11:25 PM Mishka scoffed. Took Hansel’s face between his hands and looked him directly in the eyes. “Hansel Bell.” He kept his voice soft but firm. “Tell me what’s wrong. You can trust me. Husband, remember?” IZZY AT 11:32 PM "Pssh." Playing the fuckin' husband card. Hansel was defenseless. "Look. S'just. Ehhh." He hesitated. My Yehuda is dead, and I got you? His chest twinged. "Don't ... You're gonna ... be fuckin' pissed. Don't fuckin' ... go anywhere or do anything, a'right? Just -- stay. With me. Here." He pulled his face out of Mishka's hands to hide it against his chest. COYOTE AT 11:36 PM “Mhm.” Someone gave them a weird look as they passed by the alley, and Mishka waved them off. He wrapped his arms protectively around Hansel. IZZY AT 11:39 PM Hansel was perfectly fucking aware that he was only asking -- and Mishka was only agreeing -- to not kill anyone for now. Later was a problem for Later Hansel, he fuckin' guessed. Right now Hansel only cared about making sure that his husband kept hugging him. "So," he tried. "So, that -- y'remember that, uh. Merchant caravan we passed on the road in? Goro 'n Gavi talked to'em?" COYOTE AT 11:48 PM “Aye.” IZZY AT 11:49 PM "Turns out they're uh, they're my fucking family, and my grandma fuckin' hates me," he blurted, then sniffled and hid harder. God, the cat thing had kind of been nice, actually. Easier to hide. And abruptly, he was a cat again. COYOTE AT 12:46 PM Mishka stared, stunned, at the place where Hansel had been. Then stared down at the cat. Ah, fuck. Fuck. He narrowed his eyes. He wondered what had happened. Some kind‘ve misunderstanding, maybe. He gently knelt down again. “It’s okay. You can be a cat for a while, alright? Just stay a cat for a bit, and then I’ll show you how to change back. Mm? I’ve got you.” IZZY AT 3:43 PM Hansel clawed his way into Mishka's lap and then against his chest, ears back again. Fucksake. Fucking ... druid shit. COYOTE AT 5:58 PM Mishka settled Hansel against his chest and wrapped him in his coat again, humming to himself. “There y’go.” (Grandmother hated him. Had to look into that.) “I’ve got you,” Mishka murmured. “Just be small a while, eh? Ah, y’know what we should do...” IZZY AT 6:45 PM Hansel pressed his cold nose into Mishka's neck and made a low prrp sound. COYOTE AT 6:48 PM "Y'know what would scare the fuck out of Goro?" Mishka said. "If he was petting a cat and then suddenly it became a half-orc." IZZY AT 6:50 PM Hahah. That did sound kinda funny. Actually, now that Mishka was carrying him around and cuddling him and shit, this being a cat thing was kinda fine. He wondered if he could turn into other shit, too, but didn't think about it too hard, in case it happened. He meowed, 'cause that was what cats did. COYOTE AT 6:58 PM "God that's precious," Mishka said. "Look at you, being a fucking... cat, and shit. Y'know, I feel like I should be questioning this more, but frankly I'm fine with it." He started petting the cat with both hands. He'd always been good and massages and such-- he had strong, dexterous elven hands. It was nice to be able to pet Hansel all over at once. IZZY AT 7:04 PM Ah, that was nice, actually. Maybe Hansel would just keep being a cat until he had to fight something. That'd be good. He purred. ABBY AT 9:40 PM Roddy was wandering outside of a bar, glancing around furtively to make sure it was safe before dropping the human skin he'd temporarily warn. Try to charge him extra for being a tortle, huh? Well Roddy could be human! So take that! They did have nice booze though. Roddy was pleasantly buzzed, and thinking about heading back to where they were sleeping. He was a little too buzzed to go doing anything too crazy. (And a little scared if he even did something not-so-crazy he'd get arrested anyway.) Except then there was Mishka. "MISHKA!" he yelled. And then jogged over towards him. Junior grumbled and hissed about the faster pace but he could suck it up. "Mishka Mishka Mishka!" Roddy babbled happily, throwing his arms around him and squeezing him in a hug. "I missed you. I'm drunk. A little." COYOTE AT 9:48 PM "Ah, ah, ah!" Mishka shifted the cat protectively under his coat. "Careful, motek! I'm stealing this cat." IZZY AT 9:49 PM Hansel yowled slightly at having been squished. ABBY AT 9:51 PM Roddy hurriedly let go. "Sorry sorry-- you got a cat?" Roddy bounced, grinning widely. And then yelped because Junior bit him. "Okay you can go over here and behave," he said sternly, setting him on a nearby barrel. "Lemme see the cat!" he said, thrusting his arms out. "Pleeeeeeeease?" COYOTE AT 9:52 PM Mishka glanced down at the cat, keeping a gentle hold on him. "Meow once for yes and twice for no." IZZY AT 9:53 PM After a moment, Hansel meowed once. ABBY AT 9:53 PM Roddy gasped slightly. "That's a genius cat, Mishka," he said in hushed awe. COYOTE AT 9:55 PM "Yes," Mishka said indulgently. "Yes it is. He's my favorite. Best cat in the whole world, yes he is. So precious and sweet. Infatuated with him. Mhm." He remembered he was supposed to be handing the cat over, not cooing over him, and gently held him out. IZZY AT 10:01 PM Hansel's tail swished a little. ABBY AT 10:04 PM Roddy carefully took the cat and cuddled it close. "Aw you're a big boy aren't you?" he cooed, scratching under its chin. "Lookit you. You look like you got in some fights. Don't you worry, Mishka'll take good care of you, and I'll help!" He shifted, getting a bit better grip. "We used to have like eight cats, running around, but then Sugar took seven of them with her when she left. I miss the cats. And Sugar. But we still got Pumpkin! And a bunch of tiny dragons now. And sometimes a wolf. But you'll get along great with everybody! Yes you will!" COYOTE AT 10:06 PM "Ahaha," Mishka said. "Yes, he's excellent. I love him. Quick thing, though. Brief pause. That's Hansel, actually." IZZY AT 10:07 PM Hansel gave a quiet mrr, stretching his neck out into the chin scritches without realizing it. ABBY AT 10:08 PM "Oh you named the cat after dad?" Roddy said."That's adorable. You hear that? You get to be our cat-Hansel. Catsel." He kept up the chin scratches, grinning. Such a good cat. Couldn't wait for Dadsel and Catsel to meet. COYOTE AT 10:09 PM "No no. This cat is... actual Hansel." IZZY AT 10:10 PM Hansel purred. ABBY AT 10:12 PM Awww. Roddy was a bit distracted by the adorable rumbly ball of fur he was holding, and with that (and being a little drunk) he wasn't entirely listening. "Actual Hansel?" he said distractedly. "Did Dad name it after himself? Hey-- hey Junior look. This is your new best friend!" He held Catsel out in front of the pseudodragon. Said pseudodragon cracked one eye, eyed the cat, and then closed it again. Undeterred, Roddy cuddled the cat close again. "Don't worry. He'll warm up to you. In time," he said, stroking it's ears now. COYOTE AT 10:14 PM "No no no. Roddy. Roddy, motek. Listen. Look. See this scar across his haunches? See that?" IZZY AT 10:15 PM Hansel cut his ears back at the pseudodragon. Nah. Junior was fine. He went back to purring. ABBY AT 10:18 PM Roddy shifted Catsel so he could get a better look at the scar. "Oh that's a nasty looking mark. S'good thing we got you now, you won't have to get in any more fights and get scars like that," he continued to coo, petting the cat. It was enjoying it, purring louder than most cats Roddy could remember petting. This was the best cat. COYOTE AT 10:22 PM "Yes. But. Hansel has a scar exactly like that on his haunches." ABBY AT 10:28 PM "Oh!" Roddy lit up. He got it now! "That's why you named it after Dad! Matching scars!" COYOTE AT 10:32 PM "No. Roddy. Repeat after me," Mishka said. "This cat. Is. Hansel. Hansel and this cat. Are the same person." IZZY AT 10:33 PM Hansel gave a chirpy meow. This entire fucking thing was worth it to listen to this conversation. ABBY AT 10:34 PM "Repeat after me," Roddy said back. "This cat is Hansel, Hansel and this cat are the same person. But this cat isn't a person it's a cat, Mishka." COYOTE AT 10:40 PM "Aha, you got me there," Mishka said. "That's true. That's very true. Listen, though. Get this. Hansel... can turn into a cat now. See, I was walking down this alley, and I found this cat, see, and then just, bam! It turned into Hansel! And then he turned back again." ABBY AT 10:45 PM Cat. Into Dad. Back into cat. Roddy kept petting the purring cat and frowned down at it. "Cat. Into Dad. Into cat? Oh! We had someone who could do that at the circus! Are you like the Amazing Beastly Manfred?!" Roddy exclaimed excitedly, holding up Catsel so he could look right in his eyes. IZZY AT 10:46 PM Hansel's ears angled back again. No the fuck he was not. COYOTE AT 10:52 PM "That means no," Mishka said helpfully. At least Roddy had gotten it. ABBY AT 10:53 PM "Oh. Well-- now I'm confused. Did Dad turn into a cat or didn't he?" Roddy said. Either way, he started cuddling the Catsel close again, petting him more. IZZY AT 10:53 PM Hansel purred and butted his head against Roddy's hand. Yeah, that was better. COYOTE AT 11:00 PM "Oh yes," Mishka said. "That's Hansel, yes. Apparently he can turn into a cat now. Ah, I don't think he's nailed turning back, yet. But. Still." ABBY AT 11:01 PM "So he is like the Amazing Beastly Manfred." IZZY AT 11:02 PM Hansel's tail twitched. COYOTE AT 11:05 PM Mishka frowned. He took Hansel back and tucked him into his coat again. "Your father is not a circus act, Rodger." ABBY AT 11:09 PM Oh. Roddy hunched his shoulders a little. "Sorry," he muttered. "I just meant. He turned into animals. And-- and that's what you said Dad did..." IZZY AT 11:12 PM Hansel stretched out to bat a paw at Roddy. COYOTE AT 11:37 AM Ah, no, he’d made Roddy sad. “Ah. I’m sorry, motek,” Mishka said. “I’m just being protective of Hansel, is all, I suppose. He’s upset—“ Ah. Hm. Maybe he shouldn’t explain this. It might bother Hansel. ABBY AT 1:05 PM Roddy unconsciously shifted his arm so that Hansel could bat at him easier. It helped, hearing Mishka say sorry. And something else he heard got Roddy concerned too. "What's Dad upset about?" he asked, frowning. Reached out and started scratching Hansel's cat-ears too. "What happened, huh?" he said. Realized he was baby-talking his dad again and looked a little embarrassed. IZZY AT 1:15 PM Hansel swished his tail, flattening his ears. COYOTE AT 2:27 PM Mishka dithered a moment, chewing his lip. He stroked Hansel. It wasn’t his secret to tell, but he knew Hansel would be upset taking about it. “Those merchants on the road are related to Hansel’s dad, apparently,” Mishka admitted. ABBY AT 2:46 PM Roddy lit up. "Really? Dad found more family?!" COYOTE AT 2:51 PM “Ah, no. No. They’re not...” Mishka held Hansel a little closer. “They’re not— family, just related to him. They weren’t nice to him.” ABBY AT 2:53 PM "Oh." Roddy drooped. Yeah that-- well. "That's awful," he said to Hansel. "Sucks that they're not family." He scratched Hansel's ears a few times, and then thought maybe that was weird now that he was a cat? So he dropped his hand. COYOTE AT 3:12 PM “Mm. I suppose so,” Mishka said. “Eh. Less people to worry about. We’ve got enough.” ABBY AT 3:18 PM "Well... I guess that's one way of looking at it," Roddy said slowly. Still though. On some level... he missed what could-have-been with the Firnashes still. And he didn't think about his blood parents much, but well, kinda missed them to. "He's got us still, at least. Right Dad?" Roddy grinned a little and stroked Hansel's cat-self. COYOTE AT 5:03 PM “Mm. Our half-orc now,” Mishka said, pleased, as Hansel poked his head out to receive pets. One of the orc merchants passed by, and Mishka waved in a friendly manner, then watched them for a long time as they left. ABBY AT 5:53 PM "Yeah," Roddy agreed. Their family wasn't traditional by any means but-- it was a good one. "Oh! Does Luci know about the cat thing? Can I tell her?" IZZY AT 6:08 PM Hansel made an agreeable mrrp sound. ABBY AT 6:10 PM Roddy grinned. That'd be fun! "I'll go do that! See you later, guys," he said, and threw his arms around Mishka for another hug. Careful not to squish Hansel too much, before letting go and picking up Junior. "C'mon you, we're gonna go see Luci!" He flopped the grumbly dragon over one shoulder and started jogging back to the inn. COYOTE AT 6:25 PM Mishka headed into the pub. It'd probably take a while to convince everyone this cat was Hansel, but he was up for the job. end Title: Catsel Summary: Mishka adopts a new cat, which turns out to be Hansel. He explains to Roddy this cat is his dad now. Category:Text Roleplay